Through Hardships We Grow.. Hello 2021

2020. It’s been a hell of a year. I do this every year. Collage the highlights and share them. Normally I wax nostalgia and celebrate the triumphs. This year the only word I can think of is wow. We lost all three of my surviving grandparents in the course of six short months. My business was shut down. School was shut down. Life was shut down. The new normal became dystopian. Depression and anxiety and grief are at all time highs.

However, looking back over the course of the year through images I can see that there were still so many highs. Life slowed down. Something I’ve prayed for for years. Somewhere along the line I began to notice the way the sunlight warms my skin and when you meditate you connect to every part of your body. My circle became even smaller and for that I am grateful. This circle is special, I am surrounded by people who strive for growth and love and kindness and cultivate those traits in me as well. My children are no longer children, they are thriving, well adjusted teenagers on the brink of adulthood. My family, though it became smaller, is still the most solid support system. The world is bright and shining and full of adventure. Colors to see and people to meet. Kindness abounds and life is good in spite of tears. Through hardships we grow.

Highlights - trips to offbeat restaurants and road trips to little towns for no reason, delectable desserts, rainbows and waterfalls, Gracie’s surgery was a success, she healed and is continuing to rehab her leg, she was able to return to school much quicker than expected. A solo trip to Johnson City to see The Amazons, I met the lead singer. Picked roller blading back up. Started running again. We had snow. I spent time with my closest friends. Was able to go swimming several times before quarantine. Celebrated nine years of sobriety and a year of owning my home. Took the kids on a random trip to Pensacola Beach. We hiked, played cards, watched movies, learned to skateboard, went on walks, completed home projects, and spent more time without our phones than ever before. I completed my first 5k on a trail and embarked on a physical journey this year that changed my life. I’ve lost 33lbs in total and I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I redecorated my entire office. I took up pressing flowers and picked miniatures and my dollhouse back up. I bought a kayak and it turns out it’s one of my most favorite things to do. I picked fishing back up. I got my very first tattoo. I went to Memphis for the first time. I dated some and made some very real connections. I learned a lot from that this year too. I spent time with old friends and new friends. I spent a lot of time alone. Ryder turned 14 and started high school. Gracie turned 16 and is a junior. They were both able to March at home games. They both make perfect grades. Gracie started working at Walmart. She got her drivers license a few weeks ago. I won second place in Best of the Best Photographer in Hamilton County for the second year in a row. I said goodbye to a piece of my childhood. I did get to see a Corpse Flower bloom, that was pretty damn cool honestly. I spent the majority of my summer trying to help safely trap a stray dog at the dam. MARC eventually was able to get her thank goodness! The kids were able to start back to school with a lot of weird new rules but we celebrated it. I watched my best friend exponentially grow her business and a non profit. I watched my other best friend buy her first home and get married. Over the course of nine months I learned how to do a forearm stand. Football season was a success. Busy season was a success. The Jack-O-Lantern Jamboree was a success.

We said goodbye to Pawpaw (Chester Boyd), Grandma Graves (Frances Graves) and Nana (Barbara Boyd). We are all dealing with that in different ways but I think that we are all starting to process it finally.

Of course we decided to end the year on a bang with Covid. In true Atwell fashion we are mostly just mad that we won’t be able to tell our grandchildren in fifty years, “no we never got that covid”. Sometimes you just have to laugh right?

I’m looking forward to 2021. I’m choosing to usher out 2020 with positivity and gratitude for the lessons it has taught me. For the fire it sparked in me. For the peace I want to carry with me for the rest of my life. My word for next year is pause. 2020 taught me how, 2021 will be the year I fully appreciate it.